If you have to convince someone to stay with you, then they have already left!
Kampala, Uganda | By Michael Wandati | Ladies, how often do you ask your man for money? Is there a way to ask your boyfriend for financial favours without coming across as a seasoned gold-digger? How soon after you start dating a guy is it acceptable to start asking for money?
The topic of money in a relationship has always been a touchy one. Some men have always believed that ladies who constantly ask for money from a man makes them cheap!, and some women have an assumption that a man who doesn’t dish out money are just stingy and unloving — no money no love. Really?
But sincerely, is that to mean a lady who’s bold enough to ask a guy for money doesn’t love him? And a man who doesn’t give his woman money doesn’t love her. I know, women have always wanted money (or the fruits of a man’s work).
A lady on Twitter whose handle is @Nobodyexx has given a tip to men on how to determine if their ladies love them or not.
In her tweet that has elicited a great deal of debate, she said that a girl who loves a guy will be shy to ask him for money.
Personally, as a concerned gentleman, this is a topic that has got me thinking this week. The issue of money and love is quite complicated. Lately, if a man brings up a topic involving love and money, he will immediately be labelled ‘stingy’ but it is only a gold-digger woman who weeps over men’s money.
At least based on the reasoning of majority of millennial girls who prefer flamboyant lifestyle these days, there is no success in love where there is no money.
Money is generally defined as a means of exchange, for determining the value of a good or service. This means money is a resource, a tool that can be used to solve problems but will not solve all our problems neither is it the only tool we need. This also means that it is not our source of happiness.
“Those who love money will never have enough. How absurd to think that wealth brings true happiness,” says the Bible in Ecclesiastes 5:10. I couldn’t have said this better.
Is money usually the most important factor when we make life decisions especially in relationships? Do we first consider the financial implication of anything we do before anything else?
While majority of these materialistic women have no worries about seeking financial help from their boyfriends from time to time, I personally find it a bit uncouth to ask for money from a man you are in a relationship with. Yes I know, love is an honourable thing and any man who truly loves his woman, should do anything to take care of her needs. But don’t you think men also deserve the same equal treatment?
It is expected to receive gifts and treats from time to time from your man, but asking for cash is a red line that I advise ladies not to cross. It puts off some of us serious men. A real lady should make her own money and take care of her bills. A real lady should know that needs always come before wants and should always be certain that the wants are not camouflaged as needs.
I know some women who are unemployed and have to rely on their boyfriends for everything, even the most basic of needs like sanitary pads.
A relationship works best when both the man and woman invest equally on their love, time, finances and much more.
Dear ladies, if you have just started dating, refrain from asking him for money, unless you are in a serious fix and he is the only one you can ask for financial assistance. Even then, make it clear that you intend to pay him back.
If he does lend you the money, make sure you pay it back unless he tells you to keep it. Never ask him to pay for your hair, nails or anything like that unless it is a treat for a special occasion.
You can’t meet a man for the first or second time and start asking him for money. He will catch on that you are only after his money and will cut you loose.
There are also other women who live on their own and get by just fine, but as soon as they get a boyfriend, they expect the guy to start footing their bills like rent and other expenses.
That is absolutely ridiculous.
If you have a job, try and make do with what you get, no matter how wealthy the guy you are dating is. He will respect you in the long run and commit himself to you.
I advise you to look for a man that is working to better himself financially, even better, work with him (as he works with you), help him get to where the both of you want him to be financially, and he will never forget it, you will get to enjoy a luxurious life with him without even having to ask for it.
My lovely ladies out there (at least the ones I know), I don’t believe that men solely exist in this planet earth to support women. A man is not your ATM or safety net. Try becoming independent. You will feel a lot happier and fulfilled in a relationship if you know that you have got your own back.
Read Also: Why Ugandan men suck!
Ladies, if you do ask your man for money and he politely declines, you have no right to throw a tantrum or hold it against him.
No man owes you anything. It is his money, not your money. Instead of asking him for money for petty things, work for a long-term relationship with him such as marriage because only then will his money be regarded as yours as well.
In the meantime, be an independent woman as you can. Love him for who he is, and not for his wealth or money. And men, love needs to be simple and uncomplicated, so if you can make her love you without money, then you are getting the real thing.